The toilet paper holder broke. Oh, no! This is a reason for widespread panic in the Weiss household. We cannot fix anything, no matter how minor, and reattaching a toilet paper holder to the side of a cabinet seemed like a very advanced procedure. It requires making holes, permanent holes, into a permanently installed structure in the bathroom.
It also requires going to Home Depot with its aisles and aisles full of parts that need to be assembled and tools that are used for that assembling. Parts and tools all separated and spread around the cavernous store. Many of these parts look exactly the same and go by names that are nothing more than measurements. There are nails and screws and pieces of wood and plastic.
How have Ricky and I survived this long without knowing how to fix anything? By our wits, that's how. And hiring people. Yes, that's a good strategy, too.
But sometimes it's just too ridiculous to hire someone, like when you need to attach a toilet paper holder to the side of a cabinet.
"Why don't we just get one of those toilet paper holders that stands on the floor?" Ricky said.
"No!" I said. "That's giving up!"
We headed to Home Depot and took the broken toilet paper holder with us. We have found this to be a good technique in the past. Rather than trying to explain what we need, we can just hold the item up and point at it until a nice man in an orange apron walks us to the correct area of the store. Then the nice man will say words like: butterfly nuts, paint thinner, rubber mallet, two-by-four, drill bit, and hemi. No, wait, I think that last one was a car word. Anyway, we will just nod a lot and then buy whatever the man touches while talking.
This time, we bought a new toilet paper holder that looked exactly like the old one, and we were able to install it with minimal hysteria. Success! And it only wiggles slightly.
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