So They Tell Me: A List of What Teachers Hear

As a high school journalism teacher and newspaper and yearbook adviser, this is what I hear (or read in emails):

"I left my lunch in my last class. Can I go get it?"
"Can I turn it in tomorrow?"
"Is it too late to have my senior picture taken?"
"Susie has been suspended for 10 days. Please email all of her work to her."
"I have the pictures but they're on my camera at home."
"I have my camera, but I lost my upload cord."
"Your field trip has been approved. Here is the rest of the paperwork to fill out."
"Your lesson plans must reflect differentiated instruction for each student entitled to accommodations."
"My computer won't turn on."
"My computer can't get on the Internet."
"My computer can't get on the server."
"I entered the wrong date in the receipt book."
"Do you have a Band-Aid?"
"My mom just texted me that she's downstairs. Can I go?"
"No one knows who the person in this picture is."
"The printer is out of toner."
"Would you write me a letter of recommendation for this scholarship? I need it by Tuesday."
"Can I go make up a math test?"
"Is it okay if I submit your name to be a publications judge for a national competition?"
"Grades are due by 10 a.m. on Friday."
"The person who was supposed to cover girls basketball didn't do it. Again."
"The part for the copy machine is on order."
"A parent conference has been scheduled for you on Wednesday during the last 20 minutes of your lunch."
"I can't think of a headline for this. Do you have any ideas?"
"Why haven't I seen a proof of my daughter's senior ad yet?"
"The deadline for convention registration is March 1."
"I can't decide which news story I want to submit for the contest. Will you pick one?"
"I never got my homework back."
"When are you going to grade my makeup work?"
"I don't remember if I ordered a yearbook. Can you check?"
"Can I go to the snack machine?"
"You marked me late, but I was here."
"Teachers, pardon the interruption. Please release the varsity team for their away game."
"Please write comments for the following student's gifted paperwork."
"We will be having a fire drill at 9:30 on Friday. Make sure you have your emergency clipboard."
"I just got switched into this class."
"Did someone find an iPhone charger in here?"
"You are required to attend a training on the new teacher evaluation system."
"All the camera batteries are dead."
"Please fill out the following paperwork prior to your classroom observation next week."
"Is it okay if my friend hangs out in here? She has a sub."
"Are there any more forks?"
"Can you write me a pass to get something out of my car?"
"Teachers, please remember to stop by the media center by tomorrow to sign the form indicating that you have watched the 'Sexual Harassment' video."
"Can we order sweatshirts this year?"
"How do you, as a teacher, celebrate your students' success?"
"I paid for the field trip, but I just realized I can't go. Can I get my money back?"
"I had the whole page laid out and it just went blank!"
"The coach never answers my emails."
"This graphic keeps coming out pixelated."
"How late are we staying after school today?"

"Fill in this Personal Growth Plan indicating how you will improve your performance this year."

His speech was the Pitts, Jr.

Leonard Pitts, Jr. was my favorite columnist for years. I shared so many of his articles with my journalism students that it prompted one boy to say to me: "If you love Leonard Pitts so much, why don't you marry him?" (As in, "If you love ice cream so much, why don't you marry it?" Ah, teaching in high school...)

Then one year, Pitts was the keynote speaker at our state journalism convention. I was beside myself with excitement, telling my students to look forward to this with enthusiasm! 

And then Leonard PItts got up to the podium. First, he complained about the lighting annoying him. Not in a cute, funny way, but in a grumpy, mean way. And then, in a room full of 1,000 teens who are interested in journalism, the Pulitzer Prize winning journalist began to speak about...race relations.

Now, say what you want about this generation, but from what I've seen, they're a pretty tolerant bunch. I've learned this by spending more hours with teens than any adult human should probably spend with them, and I've learned this by watching the 21 Jump Street movie starring Channing Tatum. For the record, I pretty much hate all movies and practically never watch any. But I was on a very long flight. I had already watched The Iron Lady about Margaret Thatcher, and then I picked 21 Jump Street next. (Is there anyone else in the universe who has seen both of these movies -- not to mention in one sitting?!) 

Anyway, Channing Tatum is pretending to be a high school student, and he tries to act cool by bullying someone. Then, all the cool kids yell at him for being intolerant! This obviously further supports my own anecdotal evidence that this group of journalism students did not need to hear a speech about racial strife more than it needed to hear one about, say, HOW TO BE A JOURNALIST.

The kids started squinting, squirming and looking around in a confused manner. My students, in particular, looked askance at me. This is the guy you were so excited about? I was mortified.

It's taken me years to somewhat and gradually forgive Leonard Pitts. I shared a column of his for the first time in quite a while this week. It's about Manti Te'o and how a guy could think a person who didn't exist was his girlfriend. Here is an excerpt:

 "...the streets are filled with people who pass one another yet never see one another, sit next to one another yet never share so much as a nod of acknowledgement, so enrapt are they – we – in words and images on tiny screens. Indeed, if the ’70s were the Me Decade and the ’80s were the Greed Decade, it seems entirely likely historians of the future will remember this as the Screen Decade, the years spent looking down."

Okay, Leonard Pitts, Jr. Your writing is wooing me back slowly. But I'm still not going to marry you.

http://www.miamiherald.com/2013/01/27/3201031/manti-teo-story-offers-lessons.html
Here's the link to the column.

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2013/01/27/3201031/manti-teo-story-offers-lessons.html#storylink=cpyhttp://www.miamiherald.com/2013/01/27/3201031/manti-teo-story-offers-lessons.html