A Slanted Report

The exit ramp from southbound I-75 onto westbound Griffin Road is a consistently backed-up mess. When I saw a little news report in August that they were going to redesign it, I thought: "Wow! Someone in government is actually doing something necessary. How can this be?"

The first evidence of action I saw at the work site was a flashing sign that urged me to SLOWDOWN, SLOWDOWN, SLOWDOWN, a port-o-potty, and a row of Bob's Barricades. I don't know who Bob is, but his seem to be the only barricades I ever see around South Florida roads. I'm guessing he's living in the lap of luxury somewhere, since road construction in South Florida takes longer than...well, that's actually the point of this post, so let me continue.

The barricades and potty sat there during the planning week before school started. And they sat there the first week of school. And they sat there and sat there. At some point several weeks in, I noted a lime-green Volkswagen Beetle parked near the port-o-potty. And then at some point after that, I saw one of those bright-yellow dirt-moving trucks (my knowledge of construction equipment is only surpassed by my knowledge of trees -- see my post about nuts) parked near the lime-green bug, and there was a little bit of evidence of dirt having been moved.

Zipping forward to the week before winter break in December: the site reached the point where the invisible workers had created a slope of dirt that appeared to be in the shape of a ramp. Barricade Bob, I'm sure, has been counting up his rental money these past months while cruising on the Caribbean or some such place.

Now it's January, and what previously appeared to possibly be a ramp of dirt is now unequivocally a ramp of dirt. There are a couple more trucks that I don't know the official names of sitting proudly next to this earthen mound of progress.

So, let's recap accomplishments in the last five months: sign and barricades, Beetle, life-sized yellow toy truck, something resembling a mound, a couple more trucks, clearly a mound, Bob taking many vacations and perhaps purchasing a second home.

Think about how many things you personally have done in the last five months. FIVE MONTHS. This project has taken five months to create a slanted mound of dirt. Maybe they need to reprogram their sign to: HURRYUP, HURRYUP, HURRYUP. Not that Bob's worrying about it.