Getting Involved (with my neck)

Something crazy has been going on in my neck and shoulder area ever since we moved into our new house. I tried my very best to ignore it for about two months, but the mysterious tingling sensation running down my right arm and painful twinges behind my should blade wouldn't give up. I went to a doctor.

She started poking different parts of my right shoulder area and moving my arm around. How's this? How's this? How's this? Poke. Lift. Lower. Circle. Poke. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Then...

Me: "Yikes!"

Conclusion: rotator cuff and unspecified neck problem. Two different things. I've only heard about rotator cuff injuries in relation to swimmers and baseball pitchers. I don't have any issue with giving up my nonexistent dreams for those two careers. But the tingling sensation I get when trying to tie my shoes is a problem.

Doctor: "Instead of bending down to your shoe, bring your foot up to you. And try not to involve your neck."

The doctor completely lost my attention then. Instead of listening to the rest of what she was saying about ibuprofen and ice packs and vitamins, I started to think about how the word involve is normally used.

No need to involve the police.
She's too involved in everybody's business.
Why did I get involved with that loser?

Try not to involve your neck. The more I thought about it, I realized how intrinsically involved in my life my neck has been. What body parts can I move without involving my neck? If my neck were a government employee, it would be one of those "essential" employees that always have to report to work even when there's a hurricane coming.

I went home and announced to my family that I cannot involve my neck, so until I am deemed recovered, they will have to perform all duties related to my compulsive need for order. This includes but is not limited to: straightening crooked chairs or other furniture, stacking objects on shelves in a way that is to my liking, putting the milk container on the refrigerator shelf I indicate is appropriate.

After all, why should the pain in the neck be only mine?