This observation is amazeballs

Dear people who drive under speed in the left lane on the highway:
WHY DO YOU DO THAT?

If I can manage to get around such drivers, I always peek into their cars to see what they look like, as if that's going to explain anything. Although, I will say I've noticed they often have a zombie-like, forward-staring, got-the-blinders-on look about them. Or, they're on the phone.

This gets to my next topic of complaint: EVERYONE IS ON THE PHONE. And by everyone, I mean everyone. All the time. Every person walking, driving, eating, shopping, sleeping, working. Every. One.

Most questions about odd human behavior can be answered in the following way:
Why is that person not pushing the elevator button? Oh, he's on the phone.
Why is that person not moving up in line? Oh, she's on the phone.
Why doesn't that person see that he is changing lanes into another car? Oh, he's...

I long for the olden days when people were actually invested in the here and the now. I am in this room with you right now, so I will talk to you right now. Wow! Awesome! Amazeballs! (These are old-timey expressions of delight in contrast with today's LOL, ROFL, and OMG.)

So, if you're going to drive on the highway and/or ride in an elevator and/or stand in a line and/or move about among other humans, please raise your eyeballs to the world that's in front of you and around you. Can I get an Amazeballs?