I suck at relaxing

In my last couple of posts I have indicated how overworked and overwhelmed I have felt recently, but I have a confession to make. I suck at relaxing. Just now I was sitting outside by the pool in a lounge chair that  rocks and swivels for gosh sakes, but I just couldn't do it. I was listening to my iPod, but my brain was composing this blog post. The Kaiser Chiefs were singing: "Love's not a competition, but I'm winning." I have a corollary of that: "Relaxing's not a competition, but I'm losing."

What's the opposite of zen? My family. Yesterday I took our cockapoo Daisy out while I checked the mailbox, and I noticed my neighbor calmly wiping down his car while his extremely large, furry black dog Einstein lay like a statue near him in their driveway. When little beige fluff-ball Daisy noticed Einstein, she began barking like a lunatic while doing that bull-like kicking thing with her back legs that dogs do when seeking a throw-down. Einstein's reaction? Not a blink, not a flinch, not even a tilt of the head. Slowly, very slowly, the tip of his long silky tail started to swish back and forth just a bit.

Daisy: Bark bark bark bark bark kick bark kick bark!
Einstein:
Daisy: Bark bark bark kick kick bark bark bark kick!
Einstein:

I feel completely responsible for Daisy's high-energy behavior. You will never find me calmly wiping down my car in my driveway. I've noticed this disposition disparity when I'm at school as well.

During my lunch period, there's a smattering of students who like to eat lunch in my room. I looked up one day this week and noticed a girl sitting with her head face down on the table before her, arms splayed up around her hair.

"Is Susie dead?" I asked whoever was around.

"No, she's just sleeping," someone answered.

"How can she do that?" I asked.

Another girl went over and nudged Susie, whose head immediately popped up. I was extraordinarily impressed by her ability to power nap like that, especially when she came to my class later in the day and was humming and bouncing as she entered the room. She was entirely not dead!

Maybe someday I will develop the ability to relax, to do things like power nap or wipe down my car or sit in a lounge chair for an extended period. But in the mean time, all I have to say is: bark bark bark kick bark!