So They Tell Me: A List of What Teachers Hear

As a high school journalism teacher and newspaper and yearbook adviser, this is what I hear (or read in emails):

"I left my lunch in my last class. Can I go get it?"
"Can I turn it in tomorrow?"
"Is it too late to have my senior picture taken?"
"Susie has been suspended for 10 days. Please email all of her work to her."
"I have the pictures but they're on my camera at home."
"I have my camera, but I lost my upload cord."
"Your field trip has been approved. Here is the rest of the paperwork to fill out."
"Your lesson plans must reflect differentiated instruction for each student entitled to accommodations."
"My computer won't turn on."
"My computer can't get on the Internet."
"My computer can't get on the server."
"I entered the wrong date in the receipt book."
"Do you have a Band-Aid?"
"My mom just texted me that she's downstairs. Can I go?"
"No one knows who the person in this picture is."
"The printer is out of toner."
"Would you write me a letter of recommendation for this scholarship? I need it by Tuesday."
"Can I go make up a math test?"
"Is it okay if I submit your name to be a publications judge for a national competition?"
"Grades are due by 10 a.m. on Friday."
"The person who was supposed to cover girls basketball didn't do it. Again."
"The part for the copy machine is on order."
"A parent conference has been scheduled for you on Wednesday during the last 20 minutes of your lunch."
"I can't think of a headline for this. Do you have any ideas?"
"Why haven't I seen a proof of my daughter's senior ad yet?"
"The deadline for convention registration is March 1."
"I can't decide which news story I want to submit for the contest. Will you pick one?"
"I never got my homework back."
"When are you going to grade my makeup work?"
"I don't remember if I ordered a yearbook. Can you check?"
"Can I go to the snack machine?"
"You marked me late, but I was here."
"Teachers, pardon the interruption. Please release the varsity team for their away game."
"Please write comments for the following student's gifted paperwork."
"We will be having a fire drill at 9:30 on Friday. Make sure you have your emergency clipboard."
"I just got switched into this class."
"Did someone find an iPhone charger in here?"
"You are required to attend a training on the new teacher evaluation system."
"All the camera batteries are dead."
"Please fill out the following paperwork prior to your classroom observation next week."
"Is it okay if my friend hangs out in here? She has a sub."
"Are there any more forks?"
"Can you write me a pass to get something out of my car?"
"Teachers, please remember to stop by the media center by tomorrow to sign the form indicating that you have watched the 'Sexual Harassment' video."
"Can we order sweatshirts this year?"
"How do you, as a teacher, celebrate your students' success?"
"I paid for the field trip, but I just realized I can't go. Can I get my money back?"
"I had the whole page laid out and it just went blank!"
"The coach never answers my emails."
"This graphic keeps coming out pixelated."
"How late are we staying after school today?"

"Fill in this Personal Growth Plan indicating how you will improve your performance this year."